Worst Villains Ever
by YaoiKitty
Summary: Written by a friend of mine, not exactly a Sailor Moon fic. The story of how Kevin, Jill, and a guy with a 'I 3 Canada' T-shirt try to take over the world in the Sailor Moon universe.
1. Episode 1: Setting Up Shop

Note:For the people who are about to read this piece of crap I'd like to say that the following is based in the Sailor Moon universe and characters are either based off of that universe and not of my own design except for a few. The plots and storylines are of my design somewhat with quotes added in from nearly everything I can think of. Enjoy. 

Worse Villains Ever Episode One: Setting Up Shop

_Scene opens with a guy walking through a doorway into a rundown apartment. He's wearing nearly all black with spiky blue hair holding a bag with the words 'Hot Topic' on it. We hear a flush from the near by bathroom. Emerges from the bathroom is another guy, whiter and sporting a ' I 3 Canada' T-shirt_  
Canada:"Where did you get the, Kev?"  
Kevin:"Hot Topic of course. Don't worry I used a Capital-one card."  
Canada: Staring at a near by table,"How did you use it if it's sitting right there!" Points to a Capital-one card on the table.  
Kevin: Eyes widen, he then rifles through his wallet to find a Visa with a piece of tape with the words Capital-one written onit."...Shit."  
_Dramatic music plays and scene pans to a massive group of Huns running down the street towards the apartment. Pans back to Kevin and Canada, no music, looking out the window in terror. Pans back to the Huns, with music. Pans to Kevin and Canada relaxed with no music. Pans back to the Huns running with music blaring. Pans back to Kevin and Canada, Canada wearing a tutu and Kevin wearing a Boulder hat and fake mustache. Pans back to the Huns and the music to "Livin' Le Veta Loca." Pans back to Kevin and Canada, in original cloths, eating Chinese food. A girl is standing behind the both of them, she's wearing a light blue blouse and blue jeans with shoulder length brown hair  
_Girl: Confused,"... What the hell is going on?"  
Canada: Scared, "AAAHHH! Oh, hi Jill. Kevin did it this time. He just had to use the credit card of death."  
Kevin: "But they just got some new knee-high boots in! Look!" Pulls them out of the bag," They have metal!"  
Canada: "That-"  
Kevin: "METAL!"  
Jill: To Kevin,"Exactly what happened?"  
Kevin: "I forgot to use the Capital-one card... again."  
_Pans back to the Huns and the dramatic music. Then back to the three  
_Jill: "Oh. That makes sense."  
_Pans back to the Huns and the dramatic music. Then back to the three, Kevin is on the phone  
_Canada: "Shouldn't we be running or something? I mean what if they get here and we're still here?"  
Kevin: On the phone,"No! That's not fair! pause Ok, fine!" Slams the phone down,"Bill Gates said there's a warrant out for our arrest."  
Canada: "Are we going to leave the country?"  
Kevin: "Yeah. All three of us have to."  
Jill: "Why do I have to go?"  
Kevin: "That's 'cause you're picking the country."  
Jill: Eyes light up with joy,"Really? You mean I can finally go too-"  
Kevin: "Don't say it! They have this place bugged!"  
Canada: "Really?" Looks up at the ceiling. He sees an agent in a fly costume holding on to suction cups.  
Agent: "… Ummmmm, buzz buzz."  
_Scene goes to the three that are outside and walking to a rusty El Camino. The three climb in and take off. As they get out of being paned the Huns with the dramatic music comes into the scene  
_Hun: Breathing deeply,"I… told you… we shouldn't have… stopped…for ice cream."_

* * *

Scene goes to the three in line to get plane tickets  
_Canada: "Where are we going?"  
Jill: "Japan! Japan!"  
Canada and Kevin: "Awwwwwwww…"  
Jill: "At least we got away from those Huns."  
_Kevin turns and leans out to see the rest of the line. A few Huns lean out of the line grin and wave. They then lean back into the line. The line moves, people in between the Huns and Kevin start to leave the line. Twenty minutes later  
_Clerk: "Next."  
Canada: "Huzzah!" Walks up to the clerk.  
_Kevin turns around. There is only one fat man between Kevin and the Huns. The fat man tries to leave._  
Kevin: Grabs the fat man's head. "No, stay here; stay as long as you can…" Starts shaking the man's head."FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T MOVE!"  
Clerk: "One way tickets to Tokyo; there's three. That'll be lots of money where you stupid middle class anime freaks can't afford for your obsession with cartoons that can't be real no matter how believablethey are."  
_Canada throws a shit load of money at the clerk's face. He grabs the tickets and bolts. Kevin and Jill are close behind. They get on the plane. Pans to outside the plane, the Huns are running after the plane taking off. The plane is finally airborne. The Huns stop one Hun stares up at the airplane and tears began to form  
_Hun: Puts hand on the crying Hun's shoulder."It's ok. They'll have to come back sooner or later. They leave their El Camino."  
_Scene goes to the three walking out of the Japanese airport into a stopped taxi. Jill is smiling while sitting in between Kevin and Canada who are looking kind of mad/sad  
_Canada: "… This is it… I can't stand it!"  
_Canada pulls out a 9mm and puts it under his chin. Kevin grabs the gun away  
_Kevin: "What's wrong with you!" _pause_ "I'm doing it first!" Puts the gun barrel in his mouth.  
_Canada grabs the gun and the two begin to fight over who's going the shoot themselves first. Jill looks extremely pissed. The cab driver turns back and points a revolver at them  
_Driver: In a deep Satan voice,"FOR GOD SAKES SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I'LL BUST A CAP IN YOUR ASS!"  
_Canada and Kevin stops fighting and Jill grabs the gun. The taxi driver turns back and with a deep Satan sounding voice laughs.

* * *

Scene goes to the Café where the girls from Sailor Moon hang out. Serena, Rei, and Lita are sitting and talking at a table. At a different table Canada and Kevin are sitting reading the paper for apartments to live in. Jill is walking back from the lady's room when she over hears Amy on the pay phone  
_Amy: "Fine. I'll be there soon. Bye."  
_Amy hangs up. Jill walks up to her  
_Jill: "Excuse me, do you live around these parts?"  
Amy: "Yes, I do. I'm guessing you're not from… Japan, are you?"  
Jill: Smiles,"Hehehe. Nope, we're from the U.S."  
Amy: "You and who else, do you hear voices in your head?"  
Jill: "No, not that I'm aware of. I came here with my two friends."  
_The two start to walk back to their tables while having a nice conversation. Pans back to where Kevin and Canada are sitting  
_Kevin: "How about this place? Kevin points to paper. Canada looks really sad.Don't worry we'll find a place eventually."  
Canada: _pissed "_I'm more worried about the El Camino! You're always wrong about everything!"  
Kevin: "That's not true!"  
Canada: "Episode II: Attack of the Clones!"  
Kevin: "It was better than Episode I!"  
Canada: "Number two sucked more!"  
Kevin: "Number one sucked more!"  
_The two bicker while a man at the counter pulls out a gun and demands money  
_Man with gun: "Reach for the sky!"  
_Kevin and Canada stand up and start yelling  
_Kevin: "It was a slash/prod!"  
Canada: "Slash/slash!"  
Kevin: "Prod!"  
Canada: "Slash!"  
_Canada throws an ashtray, Kevin ducks and the tray hits the robber in the head. The robber falls to the floor. Kevin jumps and the two begin to choke each other on the floor  
_Canada: "I'll second grade you bitchboy!"  
Kevin: "I'll kindergarten your ass!"  
_While Canada and Kevin are at a scuffled Jill sits with Serena, Rei, and Lita  
_Amy: "Hey. This is Jill. She and her friends are looking for a place to live."  
Serena: "Where's your friends?"  
_Kevin gets up from the floor  
_Kevin: "Victory! I have claimed vic-"  
_Kevin slips on the wet floor and goes crashing to the floor  
_Jill: Red with embarrassment,"…… sigh On the ground next to us. We're kind of new here and we're looking for a place to stay."  
Lita: "How much money do you have?"  
Jill: _pause_ "I'm not at liberty to say that."  
Lita: "Why?"  
_Jill looks top remembering something from back in the day. The scene does the wavey flashback thing. Now the scene pans to outside of a Mac computer factory. A bran new El Camino into the parking lot. Kevin and Canada walk get out of the car with bats in hand. Music starts playing and its Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take It." Pans to Canada and Kevin inside the factory with no employee inside. Then they start beating the shit out of everything is there, stealing files, and placing explosives. Pans to them walking away and the factory exploding behind them. Pans back to Jill at the table. Jill is still dazing off.  
__Pause  
_Lita: "Well who paid you to do that?"  
Jill: "Who did what with the how now?"  
Lita: "You kinda talk when you're thinking."  
Rei: "You know come to think of it there's a run out looking shack that an insane schoolteacher lived there and-"  
Jill: "Does it have a phone?"  
Rei: "Yeah, I th-"  
Jill: "How about electricity?"  
Rei: Writes something on to a piece of paper."Here's the address. Now make like a tree and leaf."  
Jill: In deep thought,"Huh?"

* * *

_Scene goes to the three standing outside in front of a dilapidated house.  
_Jill: "Well… am I good or what?"  
Kevin: "If good means bad and what means stupid then yes you did ok."  
Canada: "Don't be such a bastard. Besides we haven't seen the inside yet."  
_The front of the house falls and exposes the inside of the house.  
Pause  
_Jill: "Maybe there's something cool inside."  
Kevin: "This isn't like DD where there is "cool" shit in very fucking room or dungeon!"  
Jill: Makes a sad face,"Maybe there is something."  
Kevin: "Fine! We'll check!"  
_The three go into what's left of the house and begin to search. They find that the house has old stale food and is very dirty. Canada opens the closet and he sees that there is an elevator panel near the doorframe  
_Canada: Out the others,"Hey guys come look at this thing."  
_The other three soon arrive at the closet and try to fit inside to see the panel  
_Jill: "Do you think we should press the down button?"  
Kevin: "Sure. But if the house explodes then we all know who's fault it is."  
_Jill presses the down button. Nothing seems to happen. Kevin tries to say something but metal elevator doors shut where the entrance to the closet was. The closet goes down for about three minutes and then opens. There is a place with very high tech computers and a bunch of other scientific shit  
_Kevin: Glares at Jill who is smiling with glee,"Oh I'm sorry. Did you want a trophy or a trinket! It's not gonna happen."  
_The three walk out of the elevator, Canada walks over to pick something up and look at it  
_Jill: "We can fix up the house with the money we got."  
_Canada drops the thing he was holding  
_Canada: _Panicked_"WAIT! I thought we were gunna use that money to completely modify the El Camino! THE EL CAMINO!"  
Kevin: "We have enough for both. Not to mention we have a crap load of stuff here. There has to be a garage or hanger or something."  
Canada: "True. But we don't have the deed and we'll have to buy it from the people who own it and know that there is a base under it! How much money do you think it will cost now ass!"  
_Off in a distance we hear Jill scream. Canada and Kevin run to Jill and there is a skeleton in a chair. There is a note and an envelope next to him. Canada picks up the envelope while picks up picture in the corpse's hand.  
_Canada: "Well here is the deed to the house and he signed papers to give it to the 'people who find me.'"  
Kevin: _disgusted"_Yeah and here are things that we could get arrested for."  
_Kevin shows the others the nude pictures of a twelve year old Rei that were taken by a telescope  
_Jill: _disgusted_ "Sicko!"  
Canada: "Hmmm… setting him and these pictures on fire will bethe third thing to do."  
Jill: "What's the first two then?"  
Canada: "First we need to get this deed finalized so we can begin fixing up to house. Then getting you enrolled in school."  
Jill: "Why do I have to go to school!"  
Canada: "Cause I fucking said so!"

* * *

_The three spend the night in the underground base. Next day the scene goes to Jill wearing a schoolgirl outfit in a school. Jill is sitting at here desk looking very bored. Her eyes brighten as she sees Amy and Serena walk into her classroom  
_Jill: "Hey!"  
Amy: "Oh, hi. You're the girl we met at the café."  
Jill: "Yup. I got enrolled here."  
Serena: "That fast? How did your friends get you into school so quickly?"  
_Canada walks out of the El Camino and walks up to Kevin who's outside the house; we see the back of Canada's head.  
_Kevin: "Hey." Looks at Canada's face,"OH MY FUCKING GOD! WHY ARE YOU WEARING LIPSICK!"  
Canada: "I don't want to talk about it!"  
Kevin: "What did that guy do to you?"  
Canada: Opens the front door to the house,"I said I…… where did this door come from? In fact,"Looks around the house,"How did you get this done in one day?"  
Kevin: "I'm fucking god."  
Canada: "No you're not."  
Kevin: "Listen to me more carefully. I'm FUCKING god."  
Canada: "Ewww."  
Kevin: "Is this coming from a guy who's got lipstick on?"  
Canada: "Touché."  
_Scene goes to Jill walking with Amy, Lita, and Serena after school  
_Jill: "Could school get any longer?"  
Serena: "You should ask Amy, our little nerd."  
Amy: "Bitch I'll bust a cap in your ass!"  
Serena: "Where did that come from?"  
Amy: "My American/English class."  
Serena: "Hey aren't we passing your house now?"  
Jill: "Yeah, I think we are." An explosion is heard little off in the distance with someone screaming 'You shit whore!' "Yes… we're nearing it."  
_Scene goes to Kevin and Canada sitting near a circular metal object with the words Transporter on it. The El Camino is in the center of the circle.  
_Kevin: "Are you sure you know what you're doing!"  
Canada: "I think it's obvious that I don't!" Runs up and hugs the El Camino,"I'll never leave you again.  
Kevin: "… You really need a girlfriend."  
Canada: "Is this coming from the guy that hasn't got one ever!"  
Kevin: "That's cold man, cold as Hoth."  
_Jill with the others walk up  
_Jill: "Hey guys I would you to meet Seren-"  
Kevin: "At least I never fucked a goat!"  
Canada: "Who had to buy their first time?"  
Kevin: "How was I to know if she was a hooker?"  
Canada: "The tattoo on her back."  
Kevin: "How did you know she had a tattoo?"  
Canada: "Man every one had a turn."  
Jill: To Serena, Lita, and Amy,"Can I come with you guys to Rei's?"  
Serena: "Sure more the merrier."  
_They leave while Kevin and Canada continue to bicker. Kevin punches Canada in the left eye and they both shut up  
_Kevin: "Now lets calm down and go into the lair and pimp out the El Camino."  
Canada: "Ok."  
_Canada pulls out what seems to be a garage door opener. He pushes the button and the transporter goes down like an elevator while Kevin, Canada, and the El Camino are on it._

* * *

This was an actual argument I had with a friend of mine and it resulted in us turning Episode two: Attack of the Clones in the DVD player just to prove me right.

If you wish to threaten, request an alternate, or just want to give me ideas for future episodes, if this ever got off the ground, then contact me at


	2. Episode 2: Damn You EBay

Worst Villains Ever  
Episode 2 : Damn You E-Bay

Scene opens in Jill's room who is studying in the evening by lamplight. Suddenly the lamp flickers and a scream is heard from in the underground lair.-  
Jill:  
"Can you guys keep it down! Please!"  
-Pans to Canada in the lair holding two electrodes and Kevin strapped to a table-  
Canada:  
"Sorry Jill." He shocks Kevin and he screams. "And what did we learn today?"  
Kevin:  
gasp "That Jessie James isn't good role model."  
Canada:  
"And why is that?"  
Kevin:  
"Cause he burned things?"  
Canada:  
"WRONG!" Shocks Kevin yet again  
-Pans back to Jill in her room-  
Jill:  
slams her head onto her book "I hate those guys so much."  
Scene goes to the next morning. Rei was just reached the sidewalk from the temple grounds. Jill approaches from the house and sees Rei  
Jill:  
"Hey Rei!"  
Rei:  
"Hi Jill! How are you?"  
Jill:  
"I'm fine. Do you need a ride to school; my friend will be driving me."  
Rei:  
"Well if you're offering?"  
Canada comes out of no where and walks by to the El Camino  
Canada:  
"Yes she is, now lets go."  
Canada is in the driver seat while Jill is shotgun with Rei in the back. Canada starts the car and it zooms with a major burst of speed. He makes really sharp turns nearly flipping the car. Rei's school is seen  
Rei:  
"There it is! To the right!"  
Canada turns right, hits the median and flies into the parking lot landing in a parting spot. Rei stumbles out of the car. Canada and Jill wave out the car's window as it drives away. A girl walks up to Rei  
Girl:  
"Are you ok?"  
Rei:  
"I don't ever want to be in a car again as long as I live."  
Scene goes back to Kevin in the lair still strapped to the table. A rat runs pass him on the floor  
Kevin:  
to the rat "Hey! Where ya go? …… Please help. I need someone to free me." starts to pout "Why, why, why was I born to endure such embarrassment?" A large rat falls on him "…Hi their lil guy." rat hisses at Kevin. Kevin starts to cry like a little bitch  
-Scene goes to Canada driving, after dropping Jill off, and then parking on the street then gets out of the car and walks to a near by news stand. New looks over many of the magazines and books there. He then stops and goes back to a piece of paper that says: "Blow up your neighbor! Former USSR weapons, US tanks, and free copies of Kitchen Bombs for Dummies."-  
Canada: Eyes widen  
"RUSSIAN! They make the good shit! grabs the paper and goes to paper at the stand How much is this?"  
Teller:  
"It's only a flyer, take it."  
-Canada runs back to his car and drives off. He has the paper in his hand trying to read the directions to the place. He arrives and there is a bunch of military and police beating the crap out of everyone. Canada just keeps on drive pass the former weapon cache. He gets back to the house and there is Kevin at the kitchen table eating cereal-  
Canada:  
"How the hell did you get out of that?"  
Kevin:  
pause"… Jesus?"  
Canada:  
"You're an idiot"  
Kevin:  
"I know. But I'm still way smarter than lets say- YOU!"  
Canada:  
"Dude. Why are you hatin'?"  
Kevin:  
"Cause while I was strapped to a table I had an idea. That we both like the concept of revenge. And what good would it do if we so merely use this rage against each other? I propose that we, you and I, team up an-"  
Canada:  
"We live together we're already teamed up."  
Kevin:  
pause "DON"T FUCKING INTERUPT ME! And use our abilities to-"  
Canada:  
"What abilities?"  
Kevin:  
"SILENCE! Use our abilities to do extreme amounts of evil and take over and/or destroy the Earth!" Does an evil sounding laugh  
Canada:  
pause "…How come when I come up with a plan you shoot it down? Yet when your ass comes up with a plan we just have to do it?"  
Kevin:  
"Are you in or not?"  
Canada:  
"Hell yeah I'm in. Still we need heroes to fight against us in our pursuit of evil. Not to mention that there might already be a local evil doer, if there are heroes in this area that is."  
Kevin:  
"So what? We dethrone the evil doer and put ourselves into power. Then we fight the guys for control of earth."  
Canada:  
"How did you come up with this idea any ways?"  
Kevin:  
"Jebb the magic rat told me."(1)  
Canada:  
pause "…I always knew you were crazy."  
-Scene goes to Jill in a class with chemicals and a burner on a table. She is accompanied with Serena. A female teacher is in the front of the class instructing them-  
Teacher:  
"Since I really don't care anymore about you stupid idiots here's some chemicals… go wild."  
Jill:  
raises her hand "Can we add other stuff that we have on hand like lotion?"  
Teacher:  
"Sure- JUST NOT HAIR SPRAY! I don't want people getting hurt."  
-Jill starts to pour chemicals into test tubes and heating them. Mixing and heating until the chemicals get into one rather large test tube being heated on a low flame-  
Jill:  
"Now we have to wait a bit for it to heat at the right temperature."  
Serena:  
"Do you know what you're doing?"  
Jill:  
"I think it's pretty clear that I do! I did learn how to do this particular combo by my friend Kevin."  
Serena:  
"Do you now what its gonna do?"  
Jill:  
eyes widen for remembering something "Crap do you have lotion?"  
Serena:  
"Yeah, why?"  
Jill:  
"Cause the reaction needs the stuff that lotion has in it." Serena hands Jill the bottle of lotion. Jill pulls out a balloon. "And El Kevo said 'Let there be pancakes.'" Jill squeezes some of the lotion in the test tube and then quickly puts the balloon over the test tube. The balloon starts to fill up with a gas and the contents inside turn into a golden goop. Jill turns off the burner, removes the balloon and tied it off and then pours the golden goop onto the table  
Serena:  
"What the hell are you doing!"  
Jill:  
"I'm making plastic explosive. What else does it look like I'm doing? Now what am I gonna do with this balloon?"  
Serena:  
"Why don't we pop it?"  
Jill:  
"NO! Kevin told me that the stuff in the balloon will explode if someone pops it!"  
Serena:  
"DUH! It's a balloon!" (2)  
Jill:  
"No, it's like a fucking bomb."  
Serena:  
"Wow… umm… that's kina bad." Jill scoops up the stuff on the table and splits half of it with Serena "Is this really explosive?"  
Jill:  
"That's what Kevin said. For all I know it can be bubble gum or glue."  
-The teacher grabs the balloon from Jill's hands and walks up to the front of the class with it in hand-  
Teacher:  
"And what did I say about having fun in class? This is not acceptable." She takes out a pin. Jill slowly slides to hide under her table. The other students follow Jill's lead and begin to hide. The teacher notices what going on. "Come now! It's not like it's go-" she pops the balloon and there is a big explosion  
-Scene goes to Jill, Serena, Amy, and Lita walking on the sidewalk after an early dismissal from school-  
Lita:  
"Thanks Jill for getting us an early dismissal from school."  
Amy:  
"You're just saying that cause you didn't do that paper you were suppose to do. And Serena just doesn't do any homework what so ever."  
Serena:  
"Shut up Amy! You think you're sooooo smart. pause Ok, fine! So you're smart but who's the leader of the Sailor Scouts!"  
Jill:  
pause "…The what?"  
Serena:  
"Umm… nothing" insecure laugh "Really nothing."  
Jill:  
"What's the Sa-?"  
Serena:  
puts hand over Jill's mouth "We'll talk about these later, ok?" Jill nods "I just hope no one was listening."  
-Off of the scene we hear a male voice-  
Male Voice:  
"Oh I'm sorry."  
-pans to a silhouette of a man in a pitch-black room gazing into a crystal ball that picks up from the end of the former scene-  
Man:  
"I wasn't supposed to listen?" obligatory evil laugh  
-The lights turn on and the man quickly grabs his eyes in pain. The man is wearing cliché black ropes with red trim. The man that turned on the light is in a blue jumpsuit and appears to be a henchman-  
Man:  
"Damnit! What did I say about doing that when I'm in here?"  
Henchman:  
"Sorry Steve."(3)  
Man:  
"What did I tell youabout calling me Steve?"  
Henchman:  
unenthusiastic "Sorry… Lord Armageddon." (4)  
Armageddon:  
"That's better. Prepare the transport vehicle for-"  
Henchman:  
"You mean the van?"  
Armageddon:  
"Of coarse that's what I mean you fuck head!"  
-Scene goes to Kevin in a gun shop at the front desk and is looking very nervous. A man comes up to the desk and engages into conversation with Kevin-  
Kevin:  
"Hi, uh, I need some high quality weaponry and ammunition."  
Clerk:  
"What you see is what we got."  
Kevin:  
insecure laugh "No, I mean the highest quality."  
Clerk:  
pauses and sighs "You don't know the lingo do you?"  
Kevin:  
"Not a clue."  
Clerk:  
"You have to say that you're looking for "screws.""  
Kevin:  
"Ok… 'I'm looking for some screws.'"  
-The clerk walks away and waves Kevin to follow him. The clerk walks into a closet-  
Kevin:  
"Whoa! That's not what I meant. I don't want to you in that way! I just want your illegal weapons!"  
Clerk:  
"… Just get in here."  
-Kevin walks in. The clerk pushes a button and the closet goes down like an elevator in an under cache-  
Kevin:  
"Does everyone and their damn mother have this kind of basement?"  
Clerk:  
"You have one too? I thought I got lucky."  
Kevin:  
"Hmm… I wonder if there was a villain convention and there was a fire and they all died leaving their lairs and shit behind?"  
Clerk:  
"Let's hope so."  
-When the elevator hits the bottom the translucent doors open and Kevin runs out like a retard at Chucky Cheese-  
Kevin:  
"Well you have RPGs, M-16s, and a fucking MIG how the hell did you get a fucking MIG!"  
Clerk:  
"The Internet."  
Kevin:  
"Hmm… I'm guessing you got it from E-Bay or something. Do you anything in a handgun type?"  
-Clerk walks to a box. He picks it up, sets it on a table and opens it. He pulls out a very big six shooter then he grabs a small box of bullets that says twelve on it-  
Kevin:  
"What the hell is that?"  
Clerk:  
"This, my friend, is Soviet grade-A destroyer pistol. It shots six two-centimeter diameter rounds. Only three were ever made, Stalin was one of the men to have it and the other was melted down to make the Berlin wall."  
Kevin:  
"Two fucking centimeters! One bullet can take out eight people!"  
Clerk:  
"It was designed to take out fucking tanks! Not to mention that the rounds are explosive, I think it could take out a city."  
Kevin:  
"It is the god of all pistols."  
Clerk:  
"Hells yeah."  
Kevin:  
"How much?"  
Clerk:  
"Nothing you can give me can make me give this to you."  
Kevin:  
hands the clerk a piece of paper with a bunch of numbers on it "Those numbers are the codes to get into a Russian missile silo."  
Clerk:  
"What kind of missiles?"  
Kevin:  
"Think Russian."  
Clerk:  
smiles "I think we have a deal."  
-Scene goes to Serena, Amy, Lita, Rei and Mina in near a large fountain in a park at night-  
Serena:  
"That was great movie."  
Amy:  
"We should've invited Jill."  
Rei:  
"Yeah, but you know that we'll have to talk to those weird friends of hers."  
Amy:  
"True, but I still think it would've been nice to ask."  
Rei:  
"Fine, you talk to those crazy S-O-Bs."  
Amy:  
"What have those guys done to you?"  
Rei:  
"Don't ask. They're up all night and sleep all day; they're like the stupid Goth kids. Minus the good clothing and acting intelligent."  
-A male laugh is heard from off from what we see-  
Lita:  
"Who's there?"  
Armageddon's voice:  
"Someone who knows who you are."  
-Armageddon appears on the opposite side of the fountain with three henchmen-  
Armageddon:  
"Haha, now I have you exactly where I want you. Now get ready for your destruction."  
-a long pause happens-  
Armageddon:  
"Well?"  
Mina:  
"That has to be the worse villain line I've ever heard."  
Lita:  
"Yeah, seriously. You need to get a course in writing so you can come up with something clever."  
Armageddon:  
"I don't have to this kind of abuse from you! I will take you all and this city in a blink of an eye." He blinks  
Amy:  
"I don't think that you've taken over the city."  
Armageddon:  
"Shut up! Its not like there's gonna be any villains just falling out of the damn sky you know."  
-We hear a sound of music get louder very quickly and a car falls on all the henchmen behind Armageddon. It's an El Camino. Kevin steps out and Canada gets out with a bat in hand. They look mad at Armageddon-  
Kevin:  
"Get him!"  
-Kevin and Canada just up and start beating the crap out of Armageddon. Kevin throws three punches and the second one misses but the punch sound still happens like a bad editing job. Canada hits Armageddon in the gut with the bat and they both continue to stomp on him-  
Canada:  
"We're the evil villains in this part of town, GOT IT!"  
-Armageddon is on all fours, nods and then collapses. Kevin runs into the driver and Canada jumps and stand on the truck part of the car-  
Canada:  
"One day you shall feel our wrath. You may not know where we come from or-"  
Rei:  
"You live next door to me."  
Canada:  
"Or what we use as transportation or-"  
Amy:  
"It's an El Camino."  
Serena:  
"Plus we can see the license plate.  
Canada:  
"Or our names!"  
Lita:  
"The driver is Kevin and you're-"  
Canada:  
"Names mean nothing but know that we're your evil nemesis!"  
-They drive off. Long pause near the fountain-  
Mina:  
"… Is it me or is it that all the recent villains turn out to be really stupid?"  
Serena:  
"Do you even think that they heard us?"

* * *

(1)The Jebb just got stuck into my head when I was writing it and I remembered that rats are funny and cool. So I put 2 and 6 together to get 4.8 

(2)I sure hoped you laughed at that cause I don't remember ever writing it

(3)Hehe, Steve

(4)Doesn't sound like a stupid villain name?


End file.
